He Will Provide the Way of Escape: My Post-Relapse Epiphany

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13, NASB

It’s no wonder this verse is such a comfort for so many Christians, and why it’s a favorite in the world of Biblical Counseling. It’s encouraging and soothing to know that others have experienced the same pains and troubles, that they’ve survived or that they’re walking through it with us. Nobody wants to feel like they’re unique in their struggles. And that feeling that nobody understands our suffering frequently keeps us suffering much longer than we otherwise ought.

The first time I attended Biblical Counseling through my church, I wasn’t aware just how close I was to relapsing. I was encouraged by a friend to attend, but wasn’t entirely sure why. Work kept me busy, and I had little time with my children and family, so I wasn’t willing to sacrifice what little time I did have to sit with what I only thought of as a pseudo-therapist. So I stopped attending.

But at one of the very few appointments I had, I was assigned to memorize 1 Corinthians 10:13. Then the counselor asked me to list the promises found within that verse, and she asked which was my favorite, and why. I struggled to find the promises at the time. But I told her that the one that encouraged me the most was that God would provide the way of escape.

Yet, I wasn’t aware just how close I was to relapsing.

Truthfully, I don’t think I fully agreed with the verse. Or maybe I didn’t understand it. I knew I’d been tempted. I knew I’d heard at a meeting before that “God won’t tempt me, but He will show me the way out.” But that had never been my experience. Still, I couldn’t deny that the sentiment was comforting. Anyway my whole life I mostly felt like God’s promises were real, just maybe they didn’t apply to me.

I say that I didn’t agree or didn’t understand this verse, simply because I wasn’t aware just how close I was to relapsing.

When I stopped going to church. And counseling. When I stopped talking to my family. When I started showing up late to work, and leaving early. Behaving recklessly.

When I started abusing my medication. And drinking. When I started seeing a guy who was a recreational user, so I thought maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to use occasionally, because it wasn’t my DOC, and because I definitely didn’t want him to think I wasn’t fun.

I didn’t realize I had relapsed until I started to lose everything.

That’s why they say relapse doesn’t happen when you use. I started to relapse when I decided to miss that first appointment. And when I decided not to go to church. I was in the middle of relapse when I stopped talking to my family, and behaving recklessly.

When I found my way back home, after the Spirit urged me to return to Biblical Counseling, I received the same assignment—to memorize 1 Corinthians 10:13. This time I decided to read the whole chapter. To prepare. To gain some context.

1 Corinthians 10:12 says, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall” (NASB).

My heart sank to the floor. Waves of emotion crashed against the walls of my mind. And I crumbled. I laughed, then I cried. Then I cried, then I laughed.

The past year or more raced through my head—what wasn’t lost to blackouts and time loss. In my memory I could see, so vividly, myself, sitting in the counseling office, going over that verse. “No temptation has overcome you…” So vividly I could see God holding a sign in front of my face, “take heed that you do not fall”.

He will provide the way of escape.

Then, I felt Him, right beside me. And I heard Him, not like a voice in my head but like a thought ringing through my entire body saying, “I will provide the way of escape, so that you will be able to endure it.” In that moment, I understood.

I understood that God had never rejected me. He was still working on me. And He is still working on me. Refining me, like gold.

I understood that everything I went through, all the pain I’d experienced, while absolutely a direct consequence of my actions, also served as tools through which God could mold me, and strengthen me. I understood that “God causes all things to work together for good for those […] who are called according to His purpose,” and that that doesn’t mean that everything that happens will be good. It just means it will all turn out for good.

I went to my next appointment altogether a changed person. A saved person.

I knew without a doubt that everything in my life had led up to that moment, and every ounce of regret or bitterness I held for my past washed away, completely. Nothing could make me regret the path that brought me back to God. Nothing could embitter me against the lessons I’d learned from my Father. Most importantly, nothing would ever again make me question whether God was with me at any given moment. Because I know that then, even in my very darkest moments, even when I didn’t want Him, when I pushed Him away—He was right beside me.

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